Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure
by Eikichi
Summary: A wacky tale based on Snobow Kids Plus for Playstation (I own the system and the game.). Read and review pweese!
1. What would Arnold Schwarzenegger do?

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
By: Sailor Snow  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
It was at least a year after the Kids had met 3 new friends during another  
attempt by Linda to set up an even bigger competition. Things were running quite   
well, and were about to take a turn for the wild.  
  
It was unusually warm for weather that was usually expected in the mountains.   
Instead of snowing, it was raining, and the temperature was fixed around 60 degrees.   
To them, this was like summer weather. Who is "them"? You'll find out in a moment.  
  
*BANG*  
  
"Owwwwwwww!!! Ugh, I've had it up to here with all this workout stuff in the  
basement!!! Where's Ruby?!?"  
A pink-haired, fair-skinned girl stormed upstairs from the basement looking   
ticked off as well as injured due to having stubbed her toe on a 200-lb. barbell.   
A boy with spiky black hair walked up to her.  
"What's the matter, Pamela?" He asked.  
"I banged my foot on one of those really heavy things with the weights on either end  
...ooh, what are they called?" Pamela fumed.  
"That would be barbells..." The boy replied.  
"Well, Slash, we're gonna do something about this. Come on, let's go ask Ruby what   
he might be able to do..." Pamela said to the boy (Slash).  
Slash was a ten-year-old boy of mainly Japanese background, with light skin  
and wild spiky black hair. Sometimes when he was angry or got hurt, he would  
stop speaking English and abruptly start cursing in Japanese, which always   
made the others laugh.   
Pamela pounded on the door to Ruby's bedroom, where within loud music was playing.   
"HELLO! CAN-YOU-HEAR-ME?!?!?" She shrieked, pounding on the door. "I NEED TO TALK  
TO YOU NOW!!!!"  
A brown-skinned, muscle-bound guy with yellow hair done funny opened the door and   
calmly replied.  
"Yeah?" He grumbled, peeved at someone having interrupted his free time, which he   
considered sacred to himself.  
"Your stupid- uh.... stupid-" She stuttered, not being able to find the word again.  
"Barbells." Slash put in for her.  
"Yeah! Your stupid *barbells* in the basement hurt my foot!!!" She screamed.  
Ruby laughed. "Well, that's what you get for trying to lift things that are too   
heavy for ya!"  
Pamela steamed, her face growing red. "I WASN'T TRYING TO LIFT THEM, I   
WAS JUST WALKING BACK FROM THE LOWER BACK DOOR WHEN I STUBBED MY TOE ON  
ONE OF YOUR CRAZY EQUIPMENT PIECES! THEY HAVE TO GO!"  
"They won't go anywhere else," Ruby explained. "I, for one, know that due to having  
an ear almost chewed off by Linda earlier..."  
"Well, you deserve it! I'm getting rid of them." She said, turning on her heel.  
"No no no! Wait, no Pamela, I got an idea-" He began, but she was already leaving  
for the basement.  
"You have enough muscles as it is! You don't need these anymore!" She shouted over  
her back.  
"Well I need that stuff to KEEP them that way!!!" Ruby hollered.  
"Too bad, you can be just like the rest of us and stay at your NORMAL size!" Pamela  
retorted.  
"But I dowanna be a normal size...." Ruby whined. Despite his tough-guy looks, he   
didn't have much of an ego, or courage for that matter.  
"Help me lift these out of that door over there." Pamela muttered to Slash once they  
were in the basement. "Let's start with this huge contraption over here..."  
"They're too heavy, we need Ruby to lift 'em!" Slash told her.  
Pamela sighed in disgust. She trudged up the stairs and knocked on Ruby's door   
- again.  
"Go away." He pouted in response.  
"But-"  
"I said LEAVE!" Ruby shouted in a tear-jerked voice.  
Pamela reluctantly headed back down to the basement, shaking her head.  
"I think I hurt his feelings..." She said. "Now he won't even help us try to get  
these out of here!"   
"Well THAT'S obvious." Slash said. "I mean, not because his feelings are bashed,  
but because he doesn't WANT this stuff out of here."  
"Ugh, what's the matter NOW?" A girl's voice said from the top of the basement  
stairs. Slash and Pamela turned to meet a girl with fancy blonde hair and a   
quite well-endowed appearance.  
"Oh, hi Nicole." Slash said. "We're just trying to figure out-"  
"How to move these?" Nicole replied. She spit on her hands, rubbed them together  
and lifted up the heaviest piece of equipment, effortlessly. Slash and Pamela   
stared in disbelief as she lifted the equipment up and out of the basement door  
underneath the stairs. She came back smiling.  
"Cinch-y." She said. "Now for the other stuff..." She was about to lift up another   
equipment model when she looked at the other two.  
"Well, aren'tcha gonna help me?" She asked.  
"Uh, you look like you don't need much help..." Slash muttered.  
Nicole laughed. "Oh well, I use these too, so maybe that's why-"  
"Then why don't YOU have lots of muscles too?" Slash asked.  
"Enough questions and help me get rid of this stuff." Nicole put in. Without further   
ado, the other two helped her carry all the stuff out of the basement door and up the  
other set of stairs leading outside to the end of the driveway. When they were done,  
the first question popped was;  
"Think we should sell these?" Slash said, albeit too loudly, and a familiar voice   
piped up....  
"SELL WHAT?!?!?" It was Ruby. He ran down the stairs and caught up with the other   
three as soon as Slash was just about to start making a "For Sale" sign to hang on  
the equipment.  
"You're not selling these!!!!! I thought I told you to leave these here!!!" He   
raged, ran outside, and brought in the equipment models one-by-one-by-one until   
they were all back in their original places as they were before they were   
carried outside.  
"There! Let's KEEP them that way!" He said, stomping his foot, and   
charged up the stairs just as their buddy Jam was coming downstairs, and in the   
process shoving him aside and sending him tumbling down the stairs. The three Kids  
ran over to him.  
"Are you okay?" Pamela asked Jam. Jam was a guy who had a skin color slightly   
lighter than Ruby's, having a long nose with two white stripes around the end,  
and with brown hair done in a lot of fancy Jamaican-looking dreadlocks. He   
claimed that he wanted to be a rap music star when he got older and better at   
singing and breakdancing.  
"I'm fine...." He said, eyes spirals that were going *woo-woo-woo-woo* as they  
spun around and around from being dizzy from getting knocked down the stairs.  
The other three helped him up to his feet.  
"Thanks..." He mumbled. "Ugh, I've got a headache..."  
"Awww...." Pamela said, feeling awfully sorry for him (she was a very compassionate  
person), and she took off his hat and rubbed his head.  
"Heyyy..." He said, absent-mindedly waving his hand by his head as if to say 'cut   
it out' but Slash and Nicole looked at each other amusedly, because they knew that  
Jam liked what Pamela was doing. Jam was one of those guys who loved the company  
of girls, especially nice ones like Pamela. (He didn't like Nancy though, and   
Nancy was the nicest one of all.)  
"Come on Jam, you know you like it..." Nicole teased him.  
"Be quiet, Couch." Jam taunted her. He was always making fun of her last name   
(which was Couch) and in doing so called her other related names like 'Nicole Sofa'  
(which was a name that earned him a black eye and a near broken leg as well as a   
few locks of hair torn out).  
"What did you call me?!?" She asked him in an outraged tone of voice.  
"Couch." He said, smiling.  
"Geez, Jam, ya think you'd learned by now. You're just asking for more of that   
hair you love so much ripped right out of your scalp..." Pamela sighed in   
exasperation.  
"That's a good idea! I think we should take a little off the top this time."  
Nicole said, rolling up her sleeve and arching it by Jam's face.  
"Okay okay, heck, I was just kidding!" Jam said nervously.  
"Then SAY so." She said, rolling her sleeve back down. "Now go get lost." Jam   
breathed out his nose in kind of a huff and headed upstairs, hands in the pockets of  
his red vest.  
"Wow, you sure told him off...." Slash said, stepping away from Nicole, but tripped   
over the same barbell that injured Pamela and fell on his butt.  
"AIIIIIIIIIII!!!!" He yelled, and began cursing in fluent Japanese as he always did  
in those situations. Pamela and Nicole burst out laughing.  
"Aaaagh, my otoro!!!" He screamed. "Geez! Stupid thing! Now I know why you guys   
wanted Ruby's stuff out of here!"   
When he was done having a hissy fit, Pamela picked him up and carried him upstairs,  
and while this may have been a gesture of kindness, Slash spoiled the moment by   
asking her a rather obscure question.  
"Hey, you massaged Jam's head when he hurt it, how's lying me down and massaging my   
butt for me?"  
  
*WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!*  
  
Slash was dropped and left to tumble down the stairs as Jam had done earlier,  
saying "oof" and "ow" as he hit each step. Nicole stood over him, eyeing the hand  
shaped slap marks on his cheeks.  
"Uh, maybe that wasn't a good idea..." Slash mumbled.  
"No. It wasn't." Nicole replied.  
  
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::End of Chapter 1!::  
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	2. An Invitation to a World Tour

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
By: Sailor Snow  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
After the untimely incident involving the rather offbeat comment that Slash  
made to Pamela (and allowing time for him to recover from the mark on his face she  
left him as a souvenir [and reminder]) something else was going on somewhere else  
in the huge house. It all started with the smell of something burning...  
"Does anyone smell that?" Slash yelled to the kids upstairs. "It smells   
like burnt something-or-other, can't put my finger on it but then again, maybe I   
don't want to..."  
He went upstairs and knocked on Nancy's bedroom door.   
"Hey! I asked you guys something...." He paused, then went to the next  
door.  
"How about you, Nicole?" He said. "You smell that?"  
No reply.  
"What the heck are you guys doing?!?" He yelled. Then he ran downstairs   
and saw smoke billowing out of the oven door.  
"AAAAAAAAAYYYYAA!!!" He yelled, once again his voice switching to a distinct  
Japanese accent. He ran into the kitchen and coughed as he pulled out a pizza that  
was burnt black, and as he put it on the table and fanned it off, he saw the cause   
of the problem - a snoring Tommy asleep in one of the chairs in front of the kitchen  
table.  
Tommy was a kid with a slight weight problem, who was very shy but very fair  
and kind to everyone. He prefered to wear green a lot, it was his favorite color.  
No matter where he went or what he was doing, he was ALWAYS eating. He had an X  
shaped bandage on the end of his nose from a nasty childhood accident [which is   
explained in my other fic, As Told By Tanya.]  
"Tommy!!!" Slash yelled, shaking Tommy awake.  
"Hmmmmm....? Oh....hi, Slash." He said nonchalantly.  
"Tommy..." Slash said, "Are you aware that there was a smoldering pizza in   
the oven just now that was about to set this whole mansion on fire?"  
"I made a pizza." Tommy said, practically drunk with drowsiness. "I hope  
you like it."  
"Listen.." Slash said, grabbing Tommy's husky cheeks and glaring him in the  
eye. "The pizza sure is NOT suitable for eating, and it almost burned up the   
kitchen!"  
"Did I put too much seasoning on it...?" Tommy grumbled cluelessly.  
"AAAYA! Forget it!!!" Slash screeched and stormed out of the kitchen.  
Tommy shrugged, collapsed on the table again and started snoring loudly.  
  
*Ding-dong*  
  
"I'll get it!" A voice yelled. Nancy came running down the stairs. Most of  
you know Nancy very well already. She is a small and generous blonde girl who has  
a slight obsession with cute animals, esp. cats and rabbits. She is said to have   
a crush on Slash, but rumor has it that her eyes are actually set on Jam.  
Nancy opened the door. There stood no one, but there was a letter on the   
doormat (which read, as all others do, "Welcome", but Slash had written in black   
permanent marker above, "You're not", which inspired Nancy to flip it over.)  
She picked up the letter and took it inside, closing the door.  
"An invitation!" She said. "Oh, wow! This is great!" She ran upstairs   
calling out the news.  
"Hey guys! We got an invitation! I think it's to a party or something!"  
She called out, then knocked on Slash's door.  
"Hey Slash! We got an invitation! Wanna read it?" She squealed.  
"Not now, maybe later." He replied.  
Nancy knocked on the next door. "Hey Ruby! We got an invitation to a   
party or something! Wanna read it and see what it is?"  
"Sure, in a while!" He called back.  
'Isn't there anyone who wants to see it NOW?' Nancy thought. She knocked   
on the next door, which was the bathroom door, sensing someone inside.  
"Hey, we got an invitation, wanna read it with me?" She asked, but all she   
heard was a tinkling noise.  
"Well, do you?" She asked again, a little more impatiently.  
"I'm a little busy right now..." Came Jam's voice from behind the door.  
"OH!! I'm sorry!" Nancy quickly apologized, then scuttled off to the next  
door.  
"Linda, we got an invitation! Wanna read it?" She asked, frantic.  
Linda, hearing this, jumped up in her chair as she was putting on her   
makeup. "Yeah! I wanna read it! Wait for me!"  
Linda was the daughter of two very rich well-to-do parents who owned every  
snowboarding course from Rookie Mt. to Silver Mt. [Ninja land was Sinobin's place].  
She got everything she wanted, was spoiled rotten, and was the epitome of a valley   
girl. Rumor has it she has a wild crush on Slash, but she pretends to hate him in  
order to mask her secret feelings for him.  
She bashed open the door, sending it banging on the wall and ran downstairs  
after Nancy. Nancy sat down at the living room table and tore open the envelope.  
"Wait! Don't read it yet, I wanna see it too!" She hollered.  
"Calm down, you'll get to see it." Nancy calmly replied. She unfolded the   
letter. It popped open, startling the two, and sending confetti and a fireworks-  
smoke-like smell everywhere.  
*You have been challenged!* Was the bold-type message on the top of the   
letter. *The masters of the art of snowboarding have challenged you to a nine-  
course tour of the canadian rocky mountains on a first-class snowboarding tournament!  
Bring all your belongings, lots of clothes and your snowboards of course! You're   
going on the trip of your life!*  
"WE'RE GOING ON A TRIP!!! YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Linda screeched. "I'll get  
all my stuff together right now!"  
"Whattam I hearing about a traveling trip or something?!?" Ruby said with  
excitement as he bounded down the stairs, shaking the house with every strong step  
he took. "I wanna be famous! I wanna be a superstar! A world-class snowboarding   
supermodel!" He posed, with one arm in front of him and the other bent like he was   
winding up for a punch. "After all,.....I AM SUPERMAN!"  
"You're nuts." Was Jam's reply as he walked downstairs zipping up his pants.  
"It's just a scam, that's all. Like those pop-up things on the internet that say   
you've won a trip to the Bahamas or just got one thousand dollars or all that."  
"No, really! It's real! See for yourself!" Nancy said, practically shoving  
the invitation letter in Jam's face. He read it after grabbing it from her hands.  
"Wow! Well, in that case, I'm in!" He said, and immediately after, thinking,  
'Nancy won't stand a chance. After all, I'm the trick master!!!' After thinking this  
he noticed that Nancy was sort of *gazing* at him. He backed off at first, but then  
he smiled, albeit a little nervously.  
'Why is she staring at me like that...?' He thought. 'Is she hinting at   
something...?'  
"Whaaaaaat?!?" He demanded at Nancy.  
"Nothin'." She said, still smiling that same sweet little smile.  
Jam could only stare back, at her blue eyes, at her happy look. A strange  
feeling began to enter his mind, a rather positive one, but he dismissed it.  
The others heard the commotion and ran into the living room. Soon, all eight  
kids were in there chattering about the invitation to the snowboarding tour.  
  
And all of them were willing to accept the challenge. 


	3. Slash Kamei fights for his right to driv...

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
By: Sailor Snow  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
It didn't take anyone very long to get all their stuff packed and ready for   
the big trip. Infact, within ten minutes there were suitcases and luggage bags and  
anything else imaginable down in the middle of the living room floor, overcoming   
everything else. Three out of 15 suitcases had personal belongings (esp. Linda's   
makeup, Nancy's plush animals that she said she couldn't sleep without, Jam's   
CD player, stereo set and portable CD case), eight others contained clothes, one   
suitcase for each kid (eight kids), and the remaining four contained miscellanous   
stuff such as their snowboarding gear and other things, including some things that   
the girls needed to bring along...and when I mean that, I mean the things that they  
need for when that time of the month comes around. Unfortunately, of all the cases  
that Slash had to open to see what was in it, he had to open THAT one. Tommy walked  
in and caught him just in time....  
"Hey Tommy, what's this thing do?" Slash asked him.  
"What's what do- OH MY GOD!!!!!!!" Tommy yelled. His buddy had the cotton  
part of a certain small cylinder-shaped FPP (that's *feminine protection product*)  
poked out and had the cardboard tube stuck on his finger.  
"It's stuck..." He said, just as Tommy was yanking it off.  
"Of all the suitcases to open, you HAD to open that one!!!" Tommy hollered.  
"Why? What's in that one?" Slash asked cluelessly.  
"Never mind, I guess you're too immature to know..." Tommy sighed.  
  
* * *  
  
"Is all our stuff down there?" Linda asked.  
"Yep, that's all of it." Nicole answered her.  
"Great! Are we ready to go?" Linda said.  
"Ready as I'll ever be..." Tommy muttered, spraying burger crumbs out of   
his mouth.  
"Good - wait, where's Jam?" Nancy asked.  
"He's up in the bathroom doing his hair. Man, his motto oughta be 'Don't   
touch the hair' or something like that." Ruby complained.  
"That already IS his motto." Linda mused.  
At that moment Jam came downstairs running a black comb through his hair.  
"Ain't nobody as good-lookin' as me!" He announced in his saucy voice. "I  
bet all of you that I'm the prettiest guy here!"  
"You mean the most HANDSOME." Pamela corrected him.  
Jam blushed. "Uh....ya, that's what I meant! Handsome!"  
"Dork...." Nicole muttered.  
"ANYWAYS, are we gonna get going or what?!?" Ruby yelled.  
"Yeah, but there's one thing." Tommy said.  
"What's that?" Nancy replied.  
"WE CAN'T DRIVE!!!!" Tommy screeched.  
"Oh, he's right..." Pamela sighed. "If we can't get to where we're going, we  
can't go on the tour."  
"It says on here that we have to be at the Canada National Airport ten miles   
from here by......4:00 p.m., May 12, 2002."  
"That's today!!!!" Ruby panicked.  
"Even worse! That's in 25 minutes!!!" Nicole spoke up.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Everyone screamed. No one knew what to do. The only  
option was....  
"I'm driving!!!" Slash announced. "I'm not missing this once-in-a-lifetime  
chance! You guys stay here, I'm gonna be famous!!!" He said, getting up and getting   
all his suitcases together and heading for the garage.  
"YOU WOULDN'T DARE!" Linda said to him. "You don't even have a license!"  
"I don't care!!! I'm going! Come on, guys!" Slash yelled, heading inside   
the garage towards the one and only vehicle that his mom left him when they said they  
were going to live in the big mansion on the tallest mountain of Snow Town....their   
brand-new red Convertible.  
"That car's a fortune!" Tommy begged Slash. "You wreck it, you're in deep   
trouble!!!"  
"I'm not gonna wreck it anytime soon as long as I know what I'm doing and where  
I'm going!" Slash called back as he stuffed his luggage into the back trunk of the car.  
"Now the rest of you hurry up or we ain't going nowhere!"  
"But-!" Linda protested.  
"NOW!!! HURRY UP THE LOT OF YOU!!!!" Slash screamed at the gang. All at once  
they grabbed their suitcases full of clothes and belongings and stuffed them in the   
trunk. The suitcases that didn't fit went behind the back seat.  
"All right! Let's go to that tour!!!" Slash called, but Nancy had one more   
complaint -   
"What'll our parents say if they find out we're halfway across the world?"   
"The WORLD?!?" Slash gawked. "Most of the courses are right here in Canada!  
That's not too far, is it?"  
"But it's still out of town...." Tommy grumbled in disapproval.  
"Just think!!!" Slash shouted at his obese friend. "If our parents see us on   
TV as superstars, they won't be mad, they'll be glad they ever decided to have us in  
the first place!!!"  
"I was an easy birth." Jam bragged. "I weighed only 5 pounds 13 ounces and it   
only took my momma 3 hours to deliver me."  
Everyone just stared at him.  
"Of course, that's 'cuz I was premature." He admitted. "I was supposed to be   
born a month later."  
"I WANNA BE A SUPERSTAR!!!" Ruby hollered. "Get the car going, Slash! I don't   
care what my folks say! I'm gonna be famous and so are the rest of us!"  
"I'm with him!" Linda proudly announced. "Let's go to that airport! Screw the  
license, Slash! Let's hit the road!"  
"RIGHT! Snowboarding World Tour, here we come!!!" Slash said, smiling.  
  
He turned the key in the car's ignition as the rest prepared for the biggest adventure  
they would ever experience.... 


	4. And They're Off! Pray for no injuries

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
*continued from Chapter 3...*  
  
  
-Vrrrrrrrrooooooomvroomvroooomm.....-  
  
"It's starting up!" Nancy squeaked.  
"Get ready to have our heads smashed in..." Linda whined.  
"We're dead.." Jam mused.  
The car started up and began to roll down the long driveway as Slash pressed  
the gas pedal. The passenger Kids got nervous on the spot.  
"AAAAAAGETMEOFFGETMEOFFGETMEOFFFFF!!!!!" Ruby screamed. "I don't wanna do   
this! Can't we get there any other way?!?!?"  
"No! I'm not looking back this time! We're going!" Slash shouted back.  
"I'm doing this for all of you guys! Here we go!"  
The car began to roll down the street at a fast pace, causing one-third of   
the Kids to start screaming out of nervousness. This was unnerving enough to Slash  
who was trying to keep it under 40 and at the same time making sure that he was   
going to get to the airport on time, and he finally called back over his shoulder.  
"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!!!" He screeched. Ruby was still screaming.  
"And you!" He said to the nervous-wreck muscleman. Ruby shut up.  
"We're almost there! Just a few more blocks and we're good as on time!"  
Slash tried to convince the others, although the airport was still a few miles away.  
"We won't get there until at least 15 minutes from now!" Nicole yelled.  
"Hit the gas pedal, Slash!"  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Everyone begged. It was too late. Just like the late   
Dale Earnhardt, Slash took off down the street at a steaming 75 mph. By this time   
everybody was cowering in the back seats of the supersonic-speeding convertible  
struggling to keep themselves quiet before Slash yelled at them again. However,   
when Pamela heard a familiar noise she had to speak up.  
"Slash...?" She said. "I hear a police siren!"  
Sure enough, they saw the reflection of red and blue flashing lights on the   
rearview mirror. At once all the kids began screaming "Pull over! Pull over!" or  
"Go faster! Go faster!" which was enough to drive Slash to insanity. Finally he   
decided and slowed down the car. When it came to a full stop, the officer got off   
of his motorcycle and walked to the side of the convertible. Seeing that the violators  
were kids, he stared unbelievingly for a moment, then cleared his throat.  
"Sir..." he said, addressing Slash as politely as he could without laughing,  
"Might I be inclined to inform you that you were going 75 mph in a 30 mph speed zone?"  
"We're in a hurry! We...uh..." He stammered. "We...." He looked back over the  
car seat and saw Linda stuff one of Nancy's plush toys under her red dress and lie   
back. The alibi hit Slash like a sack of potatoes.  
"My wife is having a baby!" He blurted. The officer raised one eyebrow and   
looked in the back seat of the car. Linda was huffing and gasping, pretending to be in  
pain, and the other kids were yelling "C'mon, push!!! Push!!!"  
The officer gave Slash an unmoved stare. "Your *wife*...?"  
"Uh...uh...my girlfriend!" Slash guessed.  
The officer rolled his eyes. "Geez....too many teenagers getting pregnant   
before marriage....can I see your license?"  
"Uh, don'tgotoneadrunkdudetookitfromme. See ya!" Slash said all in one breath  
and hit the gas pedal with a slam. The car sped off, leaving a flutter of ticket  
papers flying around the flabbergasted officer and his bike. He got on the motorcycle  
and sped off towards the fleeing car....  
"Slash, you butthole! NOW look what you did! Now we're probably gonna get  
arrested!!!" Jam screamed angrily.  
"We ain't gonna get arrested as long as we catch that plane!" Slash hollered   
back. "I can even see the airport now!!!"  
Sure enough, the top of the airport complex could be seen appearing just above  
the horizon.  
"Hurry! Hurry! Faster!" Everyone yelled at him. Ignoring their commands and  
yet eager to get to their destination before something bad happened, he hurried off  
with a car full of kids to the airport. They parked the car in one of the parking lot  
spaces, grabbed their luggage, and scrambled into the building. They approached the   
teller's counter in front of the registration desk and he spoke up.  
"One ticket for eight to the Rookie Mountain resort!!!" Slash said. "Please  
hurry!"  
The teller lost no time in getting the kids a booked travel route and gave  
the ticket to them. "Hurry, your flight leaves in 5 minutes."  
"Thank you!" Slash called over his shoulder, and ran through the metal  
detectors in a hurry to get to the airplane in time. As they got to the plane terminal  
Tommy laughed.  
"Slash, I never knew Linda was your future spouse..." He chuckled. Slash hit  
him so hard it knocked his green hat off and sent it flying. Tommy ran to go get it   
and joined the others as they boarded the plane.... 


	5. By plane they finally get to The Rookie ...

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
Once they were on board the plane, they found a row of seats that accomodated  
them and sat down, pausing to stuff their luggage in the overhead storage compartment.  
They sat down and began to do stuff as the plane took off. Once again, Ruby began to  
whine.  
"Ohhh...what are my folks gonna say about this...?" He nervously muttered,   
twiddling his thumbs.  
"It's okay, Ruby. Just think! As soon as we become famous our little road   
trip here will have been well worth it!" Nancy said to him.  
"Well, I do wanna be famous, but what if I get in big trouble for doing this?"  
He said with a tremble in his voice.  
"It's okay..." Nancy said, putting a blanket from one of her suitcases around  
his shoulders. "Just go to your happy place."  
"Oh God...." Jam muttered, rolling his eyes. "Nancy, you should be some sort  
of psychiatrist or peer mediator when you get older..."  
"I'm already Snow Town Middle School's peer mediator." Nancy informed the   
sassy rapper. "So put THAT in your pipe and smoke it."  
"Oooh, you got roasted!!!" Slash crooned.  
"Shut up, dude." Jam sneered.  
There was a bit of silence as the plane soared silently through the clouds,  
but ten minutes later a gagging noise made the passengers of the plane turn heads.  
"I knew I shouldn't have eaten all those burgers..." Tommy said into a white  
paper sick bag before he started gagging again.  
  
~ Three hours later ~  
  
The plane landed on a long stretch of black top as the plane arrived in northern  
Ontario, Canada where the Rookie Mountain resort was. The Kids grabbed their luggage   
and headed off of the plane, eager to see what their new destination looked like.  
"Wow-!" Nancy said, watching the breath float out of her mouth in the cold air.  
"This place is soooo much prettier than back in Alberta!"  
"I think Alberta was prettier." Jam contradicted.  
"Well screw what anyone else thinks," Slash blared, "We're at our first stop to  
becoming world-class snowboarders!"  
"True." Pamela said. "Although I have to admit, this could possibly be your   
most preposterous idea ever, Slash."  
"It doesn't matter." Nicole replied. "Now that we're here, let's find ourselves  
a place to stay."  
"Good idea!" Ruby cheered. "I'm tired. We should find a really fancy resort to  
stay in!"  
"Who do I look like, Bill Gates?" Slash snapped. "How are we ever gonna afford  
a fancy place to...to..."   
He stopped as he saw Linda wave a handful of 100-dollar bills in his face.  
"Duhhhh!!! You're forgetting who's the millionaire princess with the rich   
mommy and daddy here!" Linda bragged. "I got the money, and I'm gonna get us a real   
nice place to stay while we're here, so don't forget to thank me!"  
"Thank you thank you thank you!!!" Slash said, hugging Linda and rubbing his   
face all over her shirt front. "I love ya I love ya I love ya-"  
"It's nice to know you like my chest so much, Slash." Linda giggled. "Now say  
thank you to my FACE this time."  
Slash blushed and looked into her eyes. "Thank you, Linda!"  
Linda smiled. "Anytime, Slashy-pie."  
Everyone exchanged glances and went "Ooooohhhhh....!!!"  
Linda's face went from sweet to sour. "Shut up. All of you."  
  
* * *  
  
"Wow...!" They all said in unison as they stepped into the hotel that they had  
just come upon. It was a little way from the airport they had just arrived from and   
they were all pretty exhausted. They couldn't wait to see what their room looked like.  
"It says, 'Room 304, Floor 3'"Linda said, reading the registration slip. "Let's  
take the elevator."  
"I know, I'm not going up the stairs." Tommy mumbled.  
"He'll probably fall down and roll all the way like a boulder." Jam laughed.  
"Don't diss me or you're gonna get a fistful..." Tommy threatened.  
"Y'know Jam, you are being a bit negative. I think you need this R and R more  
than the rest of us here." Pamela said.  
"I'm negative because I wanted to get here knowing that I'm safe, but now that  
our hedgehog-haired buddy here broke the law AND flew us halfway across Canada, I don't  
feel too safe around him anymore." Jam explained moodily.  
"I'm not a hedgehog." Was all that Slash had to say in return.  
"Here's the room." Linda said, stopping in front of a door a short distance   
from the elevator entrance - "304. Come on, let's see!"   
They opened the door to their hotel room...  
"COOOLL!"  
The hotel room they had checked out was not ONE room, but several lavishly   
decorated rooms all connected into one, except the bedroom and bathrooms, whose   
entrances were secured by white wooden doors.  
"This is soooooo cool!" Slash said, dropping all his suitcases and running into  
the living room, taking a flying leap and crashlanding on the couch. "It's so neat in  
here!" He said, bouncing on the sofa.  
"My turn to bounce!" Ruby yelled and ran in along, tumbling onto the couch and   
bouncing so hard it almost made lightweight Slash hit his head on the ceiling.  
"Easy, you almost squashed my head on the ceiling fan." Slash complained.  
"Heeeehehehehehe!!!" Ruby cackled as he bounced wildly on the sofa. "This is so  
much fun!!!"  
"Having fun, Ruby?" Nancy called to him.  
"I'm in my happy place, Nancy!" He called back.  
"Good!" Nancy said, smiling sweetly.  
Jam rolled his eyes in disgust, but then stole a look at those friendly blue   
eyes and wondered why he was getting second thoughts about his rival....  
"Jam!"  
He snapped out of his trance and looked at Pamela, who had called him.  
"Put your suitcases in the closet along with the rest of ours!"  
"Okay..." He answered, and began his wondering about Nancy as he went over to   
the huge closet to put his stuff in there. After closing the door, he looked out the   
large window of the hotel room's living room space and wondered what everyone's parents  
would have to say about their road trip. 


	6. The Little Hotel of Horrors

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure Rated: PG for some crude humor Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
-

Ring ringRing ring  
"Will somebody PLEASE get that"  
Ring ring  
"Gaaahh"  
We see a hand reach over and snatch the phone off of the holder, almost knocking it down in the process.  
"HELLO?" Ruby asks impatiently.  
"Uh..." The voice over the phone responds. "I...I was just replying to a call requesting room service"  
"OH! Okay! Come right up!" Ruby answers, and slams the phone back on the receiver without even saying 'bye'. He looks over his shoulder.  
"Tommy! We're getting room service! Isn't that cool?" He yells.  
Tommy cheers and jumps on the couch. "Yah! That means lots of good food!  
Tell them to order a pizza for us! Make it a large, with cheese, anchovies, mush-  
rooms, onions, peppers, cheese"  
"You already said cheese." Ruby clarified.  
"I know, I mean another layer of it!" Tommy said happily.  
"No wonder you're that size..." Ruby muttered under his breath.

Ten minutes later  
The buzzer on the door rings

"I got it!" Tommy roars and charges for the door. He opens it and sees a bellhop standing there.  
"Uh...somebody ordered room service...?" He answers nervously.  
"Yah! My pizza!" Tommy cheers.  
"Uh...nobody ordered a pizza, sir..." The nervous servant responds.  
"Huh? I thought I did." Tommy says, scratching his head.  
"Well, I can order one for you, sir." "Really, thanks! Have them put everything on it including two layers of cheese, please!" Tommy informs him.  
"Cheese-please!" Nancy giggles from the other end of the room. "That made a rhyme"  
"Hey it did!" Tommy smiles, then turns back to the servant. "Okay, that's all for now. Thank you, mister!" "You're quite welcome. If you need anything at all, just give me a page"  
He gestures to the buzzer on the door, then leaves.  
"Yay! Pizza time!" Tommy cheers and jumps on the couch, just to miss and fall to the floor with an earthshattering thud. Someone screams from the kitchen and another thud is heard.  
"Uh..." Tommy muses, and runs into the kitchen. There he sees a ladder fallen on its side, and a very dazed Slash on the floor.  
"Uh...sorry, dude." Tommy mumbles.  
"Aaaaaa..." Slash moans. "Itai-o"  
"What?" Tommy responds cluelessly, lacking knowledge of Japanese.  
"It hurts..." Slash translates for him.  
"Ohhh..." Tommy answers.

Ten minutes later

Somebody knocks on the door, then when no one answers, knocks again, then uses the buzzer.  
"Hey, I think that's for you, Tommy." Nicole says, looking up from the fashion magazine she's reading.  
Tommy doesn't answer.  
"Tommy?" Nicole asks. She looks at him. He's sound asleep, with a big snot bubble coming out of one of his nostrils.  
"TOMMMYYYY!" Nicole screams. Tommy wakes up with a start.  
"What?" He demands.  
"Your pizza's here." She says, going back to her reading.  
"PIZZA!" Tommy says, and runs for the door. He opens it, only to find no one there, just a box with a pizza inside and a note on it reading;

This is the pizza you ordered. Sorry to keep you waiting, but I had other residents to deliver to. Enjoy the pizza, sir

-Joe, your room service management employee

"I gotta remember to say 'thank you Joe' to Joe sometime." Tommy says, and doesn't hesitate to open the pizza box and start devouring it. Pretty soon the scent of pizza is floating around the room that the Kids rented, and everyone catches a whiff and gathers around.  
"Can I have a piece"  
"Save some for me"  
"Give me some"  
But it's too late; the pizza is gone in seconds. Tommy only nonchalantly stares into space, then burps.  
"Pig." Nicole snorts, and stomps off. Everyone else does the same.

On the other end of the hotel room, the bathroom door is closed and the interior is very steamy, and through the steam a familiar shadow walks towards the hot whirlpool and steps in. He sighs as he lowers himself in slowly.  
"sigh...nothin' like a hot bath to melt all your cares away." Jam says to himself as he leans back against the edge of the tiled pool. "Just what I needed to help me get some shut-eye." He closes his eyes and smiles as he seems to fall asleep, and soon he's fast asleep.  
"Hey Pamela!" Nancy says from outside. "I'm gonna be in the bathroom, 'kay"  
"Sure!" Pamela answers. Nancy opens the door to the bathroom and sees all the steam, waving it aside as she walks in, not even seeing Jam. However, Jam wakes up just in time to see Nancy place her new clothes on the floor and start taking off her current clothes. He claps both hands over his mouth and his eyes shoot open as he first-handedly witnesses what his so-called 'rival' looks like without any sort of garments on. He blushes and tries to keep silent, but it doesn't last long.  
Nancy reaches for a towel off of the rack, turns around, and-

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!"

Scared out of her wits, Nancy begins beating Jam senseless with the folded towel she's holding and trying to make herself decent at the same time. Jam screams and bolts out of the bathroom like a bat out of heck, and everyone in the living room turns around in response to the racket just in time to see Jam streaking across the place, screaming at the top of his lungs with an also un-clothed Nancy in hot pursuit. The two nudes run through the kitchen, the dining room, through both bedrooms, back through the living room and disappear down the hallway, With Nancy shouting insults and Jam crying for mercy.

Everyone stares with wide eyes, still as statues, and on cue they all faint. 


	7. The Bus Ride to the Slope OR Nicole hate...

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
"Hey guys, why is there a note by the door?"  
"I don't know, pick it up and read it."  
Pamela picks up the note. It's in the room-service management's handwriting  
and it reads:  
  
Dear Snowboard Kids:  
  
I recommend that you start preparing for the Rookie  
Mountain race. It's at 3:00 p.m. today and the people   
attending the race hope to see you there.  
  
"Uh, maybe we should get our stuff together." Tommy grumbles.  
"Yeah. Then we'll be off!" Nancy cheers. Due to the previous incident in   
the bathroom, she's wrapped in a towel and so is Jam.  
"First..." Nicole gestures to Jam and Nancy - "I think these two should get  
some decent clothes on before we do anything else. I don't know how it happened but  
I'll have to make sure I shield my eyes before anything like it happens again."  
As Nicole's talking, Nancy absent-mindedly tries to see under Jam's towel.  
As soon as he looks at her, she stands up again and thinks, 'why was I trying to do  
that?!? That was so unlike me...'  
"Is something wrong, Nancy?" Nicole speaks up.  
"Uh, nope. Nothin'." Nancy nervously replies.  
"Alright." Nicole answers.  
Nancy stares ahead, a little nervous for whatever reason, and looks to her   
side. Jam is looking at her in a curious way.  
"What?" Nancy asks.  
He shrugs. "Ah, nuthin'."  
Nancy smiles.  
Jam smiles back.  
Silence.  
Jam holds Nancy's hand.  
Nancy holds on to it.  
They find themselves drawing nearer to each others' faces and as soon as   
their noses touch....  
"HELLOOOOOOO!! EARTH TO THE TWO TRICKSTERS!!! GET READY TO GO SOON!!!"  
Slash screams in their faces. They slightly jump from being startled, and they head  
off in opposite directions to get some clothes on.  
  
'Do they like each other?' Slash thinks.  
  
* * *  
  
[on board a bus to Rookie Mountain]  
  
"Next stop, Rookie Mountain Skiing/Snowboarding slopes!!!" The bus driver  
announces to the passengers.  
"This bus smells." Linda complains.  
"You smell." Slash retorts.  
"I'm hungry." Tommy mutters.  
"I'm sleepy." Nancy yawns.  
"I look terrible. You guys made me hurry when I was putting my makeup on   
and now I look like crud." Nicole snaps.  
"There's a coffee stain on my vest." Jam complains.  
"You probably put it there." Pamela says. "You're the one who had coffee   
this morning."  
"Well, I'm aware of THAT." Jam says.  
"Be nice to each other." Nancy says to the two.  
"You-" Jam starts, but sighs instead. "Yeah, okay..."  
Slash hears this and looks at him. Pamela also has a puzzled look.  
"All right, so where's the mountain?" Nicole asks. "All I see is fog and snow  
and wind and-"  
"You can't see wind!" Ruby says. "It isn't a...uh...isn't..."  
"Visible." Nancy puts in for him.  
"Yeah!" Ruby exclaims. "Vincible! The wind isn't vincible!"  
Nancy sighs in exasperation, but pats Ruby on the shoulder. "Good."  
Ruby happily bounces up and down in his chair in response.  
"Stop bouncing." Nicole snaps.  
Ruby pouts and crosses his arms. He glares at Nicole under his sunglasses,  
then absently grabs a flyaway hair sticking out from the side of Nicole's ponytail  
and begins pulling on it.  
"Cut it out, weirdo!" Nicole shrieks, slapping his hand.  
"You need a hug." Ruby says blalantly.  
"That's it." Nicole gets up from her chair and storms off to the front of the  
bus when the back of her dress is tugged on by Linda.  
"Where do you think YOU'RE going?!?" Linda asks.  
"I'm not staying here with Elvis. Make me sit somewhere else, or I'll tell  
the bus driver to stop this stupid thing and let me get off." Nicole steams.  
"ELVIS!!!" Ruby laughs, and strikes a pose. Slash does the same, and the two  
begin laughing and giggling.  
"Oh no." Linda sighs. "TWO Elvises. That's double the trouble for you,  
Nicole...."  
"Let me leave!!!" Nicole says-  
  
"Alright.....Rookie Mountain! Those traveling to this location please step   
off the bus now. Otherwise, remain seated." The bus driver says.  
"YES!!!" Nicole cheers and takes off for the door, forcing it open and  
jumping out.  
"Wait for us!!!!" The rest say, taking off after their blonde friend.  
  
[At the Rookie Mountain check-in station]  
  
"And you eight are..." The clerk behind the desk says.  
"We're the Snowboard Kids and we're here for-" Ruby answers, but is cut off.  
"YOU'RE the Snowboard Kids? Wow. Okay then, the lodge is right up this-"  
She didn't even get to finish because they were already out the door.  
  
[At the lodge]  
  
"So when does it start again?" Nancy asks as she dons her usual bunny hood.  
"Uh....3:00." Tommy says in a voice muffled by yet another mouthful of   
hamburger.  
"Alrighty." Nancy says. "That's in 25 minutes. Well, are you guys all ready  
and everything?"  
"Yeah, except for one thing." Slash says.  
"What's that?" Nancy asks.  
"We're missing someone." Slash says as he counts everyone. "There's seven  
of us. There used to be eight."  
*Meanwhile*  
"I can't. I just can't!!!!" Ruby says, pounding on the wall by the front   
door. "I know I wanna be famous but there's just something that isn't right about   
it! I might get in trouble or I might even get a call from my parents while we're   
here....or even worse, maybe that police guy that we saw when Slash was driving will  
find us and try to arrest us!!!"  
As he's talking, Nancy walks up to him from behind.  
"Ruby..."  
Startled, he jumps and whirls around to face her. Behind his sunglasses,   
Nancy can see that he's been crying.  
"Ruby, don't worry about a thing. I mean, I'm worried too, but just think.  
After the tournament, there'll be people everywhere wanting our autograph....and   
yours!"  
"R...really?" Ruby sniffles.  
"Really." Nancy replies.  
Nancy holds his wrist and leads him to where the others are, and they're all  
looking at Nancy like she's some sort of ghost or something, except Jam. On his   
face is a look of admiration.  
"Well, let's get to that slope!" Nancy says to clear up the silence. Everyone  
nods their heads and follows Nancy out of the lodge.  
  
* * *  
  
"Have you seen these kids, sir?"  
"Uh..."  
The policeman that Slash ran into is standing by a blue van holding a photo  
taken from one of his hidden cameras. It shows Slash looking all puzzled, Ruby   
hiding under the car seat (with difficulty), and Linda shoving a pillow under her   
dress while everyone else looks on with flabbergasted expressions.  
"No, sir. But I'll look for 'em." The man in the van says, and drives off.  
Another car drives up, and the cop repeats the procedure.  
"Sir, have you seen these kids-"  
The next guy happens to be Ruby's dad. He looks like a HUGE musclebound   
model with very-very-very light blonde - almost white - hair done in a military  
style crew cut. He stares at the picture and gasps.  
"H-hey! That's my son! That one, hiding under the car seat!" He blares.  
"You've seen these kids?" The cop asks.  
"I sure have! Ruby's always hangin' out with them! They call themselves the  
..uh...Snow-board Kids!"  
"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the vehicle."  
"Hold on! I mean not now, I was just-"  
"NOW!!!" The cop demands.  
"Ah, anything sir!!! Anything if you can find my son! He's been missing ever  
since the weekend!" Mr. Green says to the cop.  
"All right. Just cooperate and we'll find him." The policeman says.  
"Oh thank you!! Thank you so much!" Mr. Green says. 


	8. The Rookie Mountain Race Is Taking Place...

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
The Snowboard Kids walked up the huge hill leading to the lift that would   
take them to the top of Rookie Mountain, where the start line was. Unfortunately,  
due to having been walking in freezing temperatures most of the time, some of them  
were getting a little silly, probably to make things a little more active.  
"Hey I gotta joke for ya." Slash says to Nicole. "What do you get when you  
cross a bird and a barstool?"  
"Not now, Slash..." Nicole grumbles.  
"A stool pigeon!!! HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!!" Slash laughs and so does Ruby.  
The rest just glare at the two crazies with sweatdrops on all their heads.  
"OH! I've got one!" Ruby says, jabbing his elbow into Slash's shoulder.   
"What did the...oh wait, how did it go...?"  
"Enough..." An increasingly annoyed Nicole growls.  
"....I remember now! It goes, what did one-"  
"NO JOKES!!!" Nicole says. "They're all stupid anyway."  
Slash and Ruby glare at her, then Jam speaks up.  
"Hey guys," he says, "Listen to this. Okay, one day this *blonde girl*-"  
- he looks at Nicole - "-Goes into her kitchen and takes out a box. She dumps all  
this stuff on the table, stares at it, and then grabs the phone and calls her girl-  
friend. Her friend says, 'what's wrong?' and the *blonde girl* says, 'come help me  
with this thing.' So the blonde girl's friend comes over there, and she says, 'why  
is there cereal all over the table?' and the *blonde girl* says, 'I can't figure out  
this puzzle! I know it's supposed to look like a tiger but I don't see any pattern!'  
And she holds up the cereal box and it has Tony the Tiger on it!!! Get it? She   
thought the Corn Flakes was a box for a tiger puzzle because she's a DUMB BLONDE!?!?"  
Slash, Ruby and Jam howl with laughter, but Nicole's face is growing red and  
she looks like a tea kettle about to blow the whistle.  
"Uh, guys...." Linda says, tapping Slash on the shoulder.  
Nicole's teeth are grinding together.  
"GUYS..." Linda insists, but the three guys keep laughing.  
Nicole reaches her hands out like she's about to throttle the three.  
"YOU GUYS!!!!" Linda screams. The three guys abruptly stop laughing and look  
at Nicole. The moment they all see her, they scream on cue and take off up the hill  
with Nicole screaming after them and running to catch up with them.  
Everybody, including Linda, sighs.  
  
* * *  
  
An hour later, four of the Snowboard Kids - Slash, Nicole, Linda and Tommy   
were picked to race on Rookie Mountain. They're all lined up at the finish line,   
waiting for Mr. Dog, the faithful old snow hound, to appear. Sure enough, he drops  
down in the miniature little air balloon and waves to the four kids.  
"Hello there children!" He says in a gusto that is reminiscent of Chef from  
South Park. "Ready for an exciting race? I hear this whole thing is actually a sort   
of championship or something! Eight whole courses! You guys ready?"  
"We're ready when you are!" The four shout back.  
"Okay then!" Mr. Dog says, holds up the pistol, looks at the audience, and...  
  
BANG!!!  
  
~@ Lap One @~  
  
The four are off. Slash immediately pulls into first place, but is hit with  
an ice shot and frozen in place. Nicole giggles and runs into a shot box but is   
knocked over because she has no money. Linda passes up Nicole, pointing at her and  
taunting her, and skids off down the slope. Tommy is in fourth, taking another  
burger out of his pocket and proceeding to eat it. Slash releases a frying pan but  
for some reason it malfunctions and all the pans come crashing down on him. Dazed   
and with little lines under his eyes, he springs back up and heads down the course,  
with Tommy still in last even with the chance to pass up Slash during the pan   
incident. They arrive at the lift.  
  
Status:  
1st - Linda  
2nd - Nicole  
3rd - Slash  
4th - Tommy  
  
~@ Lap Two @~  
  
Linda is rather confident that, although it's only the second lap, she has   
this race won. She speaks (or thinks) too soon, as she finds herself on the ground   
one second and in the air dangling from a parachute the next. Sighing, she watches  
Nicole speed off towards an item box - and this time, picking up a coin before she   
does so - she gets bombs. She leaves one behind and Slash haplessly runs into it,   
scorching his suit where it hit it. He curses in Japanese and growls a few English  
cuss words as well as he picks up speed and goes after Nicole. Tommy runs into an  
item box and lets a frying pan attack hit everyone on the ol' bean, and he chuckles   
to himself as he finally pulls into first before getting on the lift.  
  
Status:  
1st - Tommy  
2nd - Nicole  
3rd - Linda  
4th - Slash  
  
~@ Lap Three @~  
  
Tommy is pretty tickled at having bested everyone when it came to one little  
pan trick. He skids into a shot box and picks up some Slapsticks. He waits for some-  
one to pass him up, but that takes a while since everyone is far behind him. So he   
shrugs, discards the Slapsticks by throwing them at one of the "Atlus" banners, and   
as soon as he does this he is encircled by three ghosts. He sweatdrops and grumbles  
as Nicole passes him up, then Linda, then Slash. Wishing he hadn't gotten rid of the  
Slapsticks, he runs into an item box, hoping for another pan, and gets.......a rock.  
Peeved, he throws the rock and it smacks Slash in the head. Slash shouts an obscene  
remark in Japanese and picks a fight with Tommy while they're both heading down the   
slopes. Nicole and Linda shake their head and remark something about "boys will be   
boys" before Nicole gets on the lift, followed by Linda.  
  
Status:  
1st - Nicole  
2nd - Linda  
3rd - Tommy  
4th - Slash  
  
~@ Lap Four @~  
  
Nicole is far ahead of Linda, and Tommy scoots ahead of Linda while humming   
and getting ready to fire a bomb at her. Scared, Linda ducks out of the way and Tommy  
throws the bomb. It misses Linda, misses Nicole, and goes into the audience. The   
people in the bleachers scream and run away from the bomb as it collides with one of   
the benches and blows up. Nicole screams, "Nice going, fatso!" At Tommy. Being dually  
insulted by this, Tommy roars something at her and chucks a bomb at her. It hits her   
and sends her flying upwards. Laughing at her, Tommy scoots ahead and takes the 1st  
place rank. Slash is still in fourth, beginning to think that the only way he can win  
this one is if he gets a frying pan that DOESN'T malfunction...so he gets on the lift   
and suddenly, it hits him. *no pun intended*  
  
Status:  
1st - Tommy  
2nd - Nicole  
3rd - Linda  
4th - Slash  
  
~@ Lap Five @~  
  
Tommy is in first once again, and is trying to tell his mind to tell his board  
to go REALLY, REALLY FAST so that he can speed up and cross the finish line before any-  
one tries to pass him up. So he runs into an item box and snatches a Speed Fan. 'Just  
my luck!' He thinks, and uses it. In a spray of snow he goes flying down the course,  
laughing and doing a sort of butt-wiggle dance as he goes. Unfortunately, Tommy-boy's   
little victory jig is cut short by a smash on the head by a frying pan, and then the  
mouse appears over his head and takes all his money - 2500 G. An outraged and flabber-  
gasted Tommy gawks as he looks behind him and sees everyone else in the same condition  
as himself. The last thing he sees is Slash laughing as he nears the finish line...  
  
"GOOOOOOOOOOOOALL!!!!"  
  
"HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! NO ONE CAN BEAT ME!!! I'M THE GREATEST!!! I GUESS  
NOBODY CAN BEAT ME!!! I'M INVINCIBLE!!! I'M UNTOUCHABLE!!! AND I'M IN FIRST PLACE!!!"  
Slash is bouncing up and down and doing backflips now that he has finished in  
first. A disappointed Tommy is in second, sagging his shoulders as he crosses the line,  
followed by a shocked Linda and an also disappointed Nicole. Someone walks up to Slash  
and hands him a trophy with the words "First Place at Rookie Mountain" engraved on the  
bottom.  
"Congratulations, son! You won the first course out of eight! And here's your  
hard-earned money prize." He hands Slash 6000 G.  
"Wha?!? Yaahaaaaa!!!" Slash grabs it and waves it around. "Look what I got   
look what I got!!"  
Everybody sighs.  
"Well, do we head back to the hotel or what?" Nicole says. "I think all the snot  
in my nose has turned to ice."  
"We didn't need to know that." Tommy mutters.  
"Really." Linda says.  
"I'm the winner I'm the winner I'm the winner..." Slash chants happily.  
"Shut up." Nicole snaps. Slash yanks on her ponytail.  
"Hey!!!"  
"Ha ha ha! You can't beat me! You lost. Admit it. I'm the greatest!" Slash  
rants.  
"WE KNOW!!!" The jealous three say to him, and as they do the rest of the Kids   
step down from the bleachers and run up to the four contestants.  
"Way to go, dude!" Jam says, giving Slash a high five. "You were awesome!"  
"Jam's right." Nancy says. "You pulled through with flying colors!"  
"You were the REAL Superman!!!" Ruby says, slamming Slash on the back with his   
strong hand, making Slash cough due to the wind knocked out of him.  
"You were wonderful." Pamela says to Slash, kissing him on the cheek. Slash   
gasps and falls backward into the snow. Everyone gathers around him, expecting him to   
be in some sort of pain, but instead they get a glimpse of a lovesick look on his face.  
"Koishiteru..." Slash remarks wistfully.  
"Wha...." Tommy says.  
"He says, 'I'm in love'." Pamela informs. "Am I the only one who can interpret  
Slash's fluent Japanese?"  
"Probably." Nicole says in an 'I-don't-give-a-crap' tone of voice.  
"Well, let's head back. Before Nicole talks about her freezing snot again." Jam  
says with a roll of his eyes. All the Kids gather their boards and head for the bus   
stop that will get them a bus back to their hotel...  
  
* * *  
  
"All right, our suspects are eight children around preteen age that were spotted  
driving a red convertible out of Snow Town towards the airport the other day." The cop  
says over his walkie-talkie to the other cops. "We need to find them before the end of  
the week. Otherwise their parents will be throwing fits and we need to stop the parents  
before they get too unruly and decide to look for their kids themselves. That'll just   
lead to more trouble. So let's find those children!"  
The rest of the cops agree and they drive up in their cop cars, of which there   
are ten, towards Snow Town Airport..... 


	9. Back at the 'Temporary Home' OR Jam Love...

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
"Wow....6,000 G!!! I could buy...uh...a...a really really expensive thing  
with this much money!!!" Slash brags to the rest of the gang.  
"That's great." Nicole grumps.  
"Yeah. Whoopee for you." Linda adds sarcastically.  
Slash just stares. "What's wrong with you people? Why can't you just accept  
the fact that I WON, so you should get over it already!"  
Pamela nods. "Yes, I agree with him. Try to congratulate him for winning   
that race. It looked difficult."  
"ANYBODY can win on Rookie Mountain!!! It's the easiest course of them all!"  
Tommy argued.  
"..." Linda and Nicole both say.  
"Let's just catch that bus back to the hotel. Then after a day or two's rest  
we'll head on over to Big Snowman." Jam says.  
  
* * *  
  
  
- One hour later -   
  
  
"Finally! We're back home!" Ruby says happily, running over to the couch and  
jumping on it.  
"Actually, it isn't our home. It's...uh...our temporary home." Pamela put in  
for him.  
"Oh yeah! Temporary!" Ruby says as he flips through the channels on the TV.  
Nicole sighs.  
"What's wrong?" Jam asks.  
"I can't stand..." She doesn't even finish to say whose name it was, but she   
points in Ruby's direction.  
"Why don't you like him?" Jam asks her.  
"He's just...so..." Nicole stammers.  
"Go easy on the guy." Jam says. "It's just the way he is. You can't change  
that."  
"...Yeah, but-" Nicole says.  
"Just try not to hassle him." Jam says.  
Nicole lets a short breath out her nose and stomps upstairs. Nancy sees   
Nicole's little tantrum and walks up to Jam.  
"NOW who's the mediator." She says to him.  
"...Well, Ruby's cool. He doesn't deserve to be picked on by Miss Endowment  
over there." Jam explains.  
"You don't have to say a word." Nancy says, and kisses Jam on the cheek.  
Jam is pretty much shocked. He can only look back at Nancy, at her smiling   
face, at those glowing blue eyes....  
Before he knows it, him and Nancy are in a lip-lock. Thankfully Ruby doesn't   
pay too much attention to the two lovebirds or his uproar would set off Nicole.  
When Jam and Nancy are done demonstrating how much they like each other, Nancy speaks  
up.  
"Jam...." She says.  
"Hm?" He replies.  
"....Sorry about the incident in the bathroom the other day. I didn't even   
know you were in there." She apologizes.  
"It's okay...and hey, if I had liked you then as much as I do now, I would   
have let you take a bath with me." Jam replies.  
Nancy covers her mouth in shock, but then she giggles. Jam gives her another  
hug and a kiss. Unfortunately, THIS Ruby sees.  
"EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW - !!!" Ruby shrieks and dives under the pillows on the   
sofa. "They're doing romantic stuff!!!"  
  
In the girls' bedroom, Nicole is sitting on the edge of her bed, with her   
chin rested in her hands, too lost in thought to steam at his remark.  
  
".....Ruby....." She whispers. ".....if only you knew!"  
  
* * *  
  
A black and white helicopter flies over the Canadian borders of Saskatchewan  
and Manitoba. Its pilot relays a message to the recipients in the police cars on   
the interstate highway far below it.  
"A few hand-picked witnesses claim that the 'Snowboard Kids' took a plane to  
the Rookie Mountain Resort in Alberta. If this is true, we might actually have a   
chance at catching them and returning them to their parents." The pilot says.  
The helicopter continues to fly at top speed towards the resort, miles away  
from their location, but knowing that eight children will be returned to their parents  
if they succeed is what motivates them.... 


	10. Whatcha gonna do, Whatcha gonna do when ...

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
Ruby sat slumped on the couch in front of the TV flipping through the   
channels. He was bored silly and was hoping to find something to watch to kill his  
boredom when he came across something on the news.....  
"Breaking news flash!" The newsman on the TV blared. "A group of eight kids  
runs away from their home in Snow Town and are currently missing!"  
Ruby spat out the soda he was drinking all over as he heard this. He lean-  
ed forward in his chair and paid attention to the bulletin on the TV.  
"News reuters claim that three days ago, eight children living in the huge  
Snobow Mansion took their only mode of transportation, a red '88 Convertible, out   
of the borders of Alberta, Canada and may be as far as Ontario by now! The   
police are currently performing a search by land and air as we speak."  
Ruby screamed and jumped up from his seat to run and get the other kids.  
He darted upstairs and banged on the bathroom door.  
"SLASH!!! THEY CAUGHT US!!! WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE NOW!!!" Ruby hollered.  
"Who caught us?" Slash called from the bathtub.  
"The police! The speeding guy must have called for refreshments or some-  
thing!!!" Ruby ranted.  
"Reinforcements, not refreshments." Slash corrected. "And you must have   
heard it wrong because-"  
"I DON'T CARE!!! I HEARD IT RIGHT AND I HEARD IT THE FIRST TIME!!! WE   
ARE IN DEEP S**T!!!" Ruby screeched.  
"[Wow, that's the first time I've ever heard Ruby swear like that.] Slash  
thought. "[It must be serious.]"  
"Okay, let me get out of the tub..." Slash replied. Ruby ran downstairs   
and into the kitchen.  
"Nicole! Pamela! Did you hear that?!? The police are gonna KILL US!!!"  
Ruby said.  
Nicole and Pamela looked at each other, then burst out laughing.  
"No, I'm serious!!! Look on the news!!!" Ruby said. The two girls, still  
giggling, followed Ruby into the living room. Their eyes popped open when they saw  
the scrolling text on the bottom of the screen: "Band of eight children run away   
from home in Snow Town, Alberta: Land and air search currently under way"  
The two girls screamed and hugged each other.   
"WE'RE GONNA GET ARRESTED!!!" Nicole cried.  
"WE'RE GONNA GET PUT IN JAIL!!!" Pamela sobbed.  
"AND IT'S ALL OUR FAULT!!!" Ruby wailed.  
Slash ran downstairs with a towel around him. "Oo genki desu ka?" He asked,   
forgetting to speak English again.  
"What?" Nicole sniffled.  
"Are you guys all right?" Slash translated.  
"We're being hunted down!" Pamela sobbed. "Look on the TV!"  
Slash turned his head to the TV and his mouth fell open when he saw the   
headline rolling at the bottom of the screen. He turned white as a sheet and he  
started to panic.  
"Aaah....oh no oh no oh no!!! T-this isn't good! How did those police guys  
manage to find us?!?"  
"I don't know!!!" Ruby cried. "But all I know is that I WANT MY MOMMY!!!"  
"US TOO!" Nicole/Pamela wailed.  
Pretty soon, they were all crying. Nancy came into the room, saw the TV,   
and started to sniffle as Jam walked into the room. He saw the headline, and he   
even began to cry a little as Nancy hugged him and they both cried. Soon, any other  
Kids that entered the room began crying as well. People in neighboring hotel rooms  
began to complain about the incessant crying and finally dialed room service to   
take care of the problem. So good' ol pizza man Joe (the one who gave Tommy the   
pizza) came upstairs and knocked on the door.  
"Hello?" He asked pleasantly. "Is everything all right?"  
Nancy sniffled and opened the door. "Oh, hello. It's nothing really, we're  
gonna get over it. Tell the other people in the rooms not to worry...."  
Joe shook his head. "It's okay. I saw the news headline. And I'm gonna   
make sure you kids stay here long enough to finish all the courses up to Silver   
Mountain."  
"Really?" Slash asked.  
"Really. I already had a talk with the manager of this place. He offered  
to let you guys stay here up until your last race, then we're gonna have to send  
you guys back home." Joe informed.  
"Thank you Mr. Joe!" Tommy said. "For the pizza and for letting us stay   
here longer!"  
"It's nothing, sir." Joe replied. "You guys came here to earn that trophy,  
and I'm gonna make sure you get it."  
"Thank you!" All the Kids said at once.  
"Once again, don't thank me, thank the manager. He approved the idea." Joe  
said modestly.  
The Kids ran up to Joe and shook his hand and said their thank you's, and   
when Joe left to tell the other residents that the commotion was taken care of, the  
Kids began to talk amongst themselves.  
"What a great guy." Nancy said.  
"Yeah. That's one awesome dude." Jam said admiringly.  
"He's really nice!" Nicole said happily.  
"I can't believe he's gonna let us stay here!" Nancy said. "I thought that   
would never happen."  
"'Specially since we're fugitives." Slash said.  
This is when all the Kids turned to face Slash and frowned.   
"Saaaaaaay..." Linda said. "I forgot. Which one of us is the one   
responsible for dragging us into this mess?"  
"And trying to drive a car?" Ruby fumed.  
"And nearly getting us killed?" Tommy steamed.  
Slash sweatdropped. "Uh.....uh....."  
Nicole pounded her fist into her open hand. "Well, I say we give little   
Slash Kamei here what he deserves....for dragging us into this!!!!"  
  
Slash didn't even have the time to shriek as all the Kids jumped om him   
and nearly tore him apart. 


	11. The Big Snowman Race Is Taking Place! OR...

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
Rated: PG for some crude humor (and sexual humor in this chapter)  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
"Uugh...." Slash moaned as he got up off the floor. The Kids -in all their  
anger- had given him a black eye and several bruises. He sighed and flopped down on  
the couch, exasperated with himself. Why did he have to drive everyone three provinces  
away anyway? Such a stupid idea.....  
Slash began to sniffle and cry. He couldn't believe what he had been thinking.  
As he lay there in self-pity, Linda walked into the room.  
"Slash," she said, "I know I beat you up too but...are you okay?"  
"Iie...." Slash grumbled, speaking Japanese again.  
"I'm real sorry. I guess I was just angry at you for dragging us into this..."  
She began, but Slash began to snivel again.  
"Manga-masaka!!!!" Slash yelled, speaking his other language again.  
"Sorry, but...what?" Linda asked.  
"It MEANS, --NO, REALLY!!!!!!!--" Slash cried.  
"Slash, I know what you did was really irresponsible, but most of us are   
happy you brought us here in the first place. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be  
here." Linda told him.  
"H-honto ni?" Slash sniffed, slipping back into Japanese.  
"Really." Linda replied. Some things Slash said were actually Japanese  
words that Linda had heard before and understood.  
"...*sniff*....arigato....." Slash replied. Linda smiled and gave Slash a  
hug to help him calm down. She couldn't help but look at the black-haired boy in her  
arms, and smiled as her mind remembered another Japanese phrase that could be of use  
at the moment....  
"Slash..." She said. "....Aishiteru."  
Slash quickly looked up with tear-filled eyes at Linda and sniffled.  
"Linda....a-aishiteru zu-to...." Slash replied. They held each other tight  
again for a while, but the second time they gazed into each others' eyes, something  
else happened. They found themselves in an unpenetrable lip-lock. For what seemed  
like 10 minutes straight they smooched right there on the sofa, not caring who or what  
saw them. Finally they let go of each other and smiled.  
"Arigato." Slash said to Linda.  
"Do-itashimashite." Linda replied. Her eyes opened. She blinked. She didn't  
even know what that word was before. How did she know now? It was as though kissing  
Slash gave her the ablilty to speak his other language. They smiled and embraced one  
more time before they heard Jam walking down the hotel room corridor, whistling. They  
pulled away and sat where they were, turning the TV on. Jam saw them and laughed.  
"Since when do you guys watch TV together?" Jam snickered.  
"Nani? Aah, uh...." Slash said, forgetting to switch back to English.  
"You're watching TV together." Jam repeated.  
"D-dewa arimasen!!!!" Slash protested, still forgetting.  
"We were not!" Linda said, translating for Slash.  
"Oh yeah? Then why are you two sitting on the sofa together, huh?" Jam  
taunted.  
"GrrrRRR.......JAAAAAAAMMM!!! WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP?!?!?" Linda screeched.  
Jam's eyes went wide. He laughed nervously and slipped away into the guys' bedroom.  
Linda shook her head.  
"He bugs me sometimes." Slash told Linda, switching to English. "But he's   
still my best bro."  
"I know. But you don't bug me. At least not all the time." Linda smiled,  
playing with Slash's hair.  
"Yeah, I know..." Slash said with a smile. The two were about to kiss again  
when the phone rang.  
"I got it." Linda told him, and walked into the kitchen. She picked up the   
phone.  
"Hello?" She asked.  
"Hi, this is Joe again." The 'pizza-dude' answered. "Just wanted to let you   
guys know you have a race at Big Snowman at 3 p.m. tomorrow afternoon."  
"We do? Awesome!" Linda replied. "Thank you for the update!"  
"You're quite welcome. And by the way, dinnertime's getting close, would   
you guys like something to eat?"  
"Sure!" Linda replied. She put a hand over the phone and called out.  
"GUYS!!!" Linda screeched. "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EAT?!? JOE'S ORDERING ROOM  
SERVICE FOR US AGAIN!!!"  
"Pizza!" Tommy called out from the guys' room.  
"With cheese!" Jam added.  
"And pepperoni!" Nancy added.  
"And canadian bacon!!!" Ruby added.  
"CANADIAN BACON?!?!?" Everyone answered.  
"Well, it's on the meat lovers' pizza....." Ruby said sheepishly.  
"Okay...." Linda replied. "Mr. Joe, we'd like two pizzas, each with cheese,  
pepperoni.....and canadian bacon."  
"Canadian bacon?" Joe laughed. "Well, alright. Expect it to arrive at your   
guys' room in 20 minutes."  
"Thanks!" Linda said happily, and hung up the phone. She ran over to the couch  
and jumped over the headboard, landing next to Slash.   
"Cool entrance." Slash complimented.  
"Thanks." Linda replied. She suddenly noticed something was wrong.....  
"Slash.....is-" She began, and saw her reflection in the mirror on the wall.  
One of her pigtails was missing the tie, and her hair was hanging straight down.  
"SLASH!!! GIMME BACK MY HAIR TIE!!" She yelled, and Slash laughed a little   
mischevious laugh as he darted back away from Linda, hiding the tie behind his back  
so she wouldn't get it. She pounced on top of him, trying desperately to wrench the   
tie free from his hands. Jam walked in and saw the two Kids squirming on the couch,  
and mistook it for something else....  
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed and ran over to them, picked up a sofa pillow   
and began bashing Linda and Slash senseless with it. The two abruptly stopped and   
gave Jam a look like 'what was that for?'  
"What are you DOING?!?" Slash asked him.  
"I know why you two were watching TV together now!!!!!" Jam answered. "You   
two were-"  
"No we weren't!" Linda said. "He just took my hair tie! That's all! I was  
trying to get it back from him!"  
"So you SAY." Jam answered. "What do you have to say about this, Slash?"  
"Whatever it is, I didn't do it." Slash replied innocently.  
"Typical Slash." Jam sighed. "Well, if Linda starts growing in size in a few  
months, we all know who to blame." He walked out the living room.  
"AAAA!!! I'm being blamed AGAIN!!!" Slash said angrily, and flung himself  
into Linda's arms. She patted Slash's head.   
"It's okay, sweetie...." She soothed him as he began sniffling once again....  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
~@ The Next Day @~  
  
  
- - -   
  
Four of the Kids -Nancy, Jam, Tommy and Pamela- were picked to race on Big   
Snowman that day. They sat on the lift, one to a chair, and waited to reach the top  
of the mountain. Jam and Nancy kept stealing looks at one another, tickled to be in  
a race together. Tommy and Pamela were rolling their eyes at Jam and Nancy's silent  
flirting. Jam spoke up.  
"Hey Nance, what do you say I treat us two to dinner if I win this race?"  
Jam told her.  
"Really? Oh Jam, that's so sweet of you!" Nancy squeaked. "I would absolutely  
love that!"  
"Then how's Friday at 7:00 sound?" Jam asked her.  
"Just fine! Oh it's gonna be so much fun...and so romantic..." Nancy said  
dreamingly. Tommy groaned.  
"Must you two constantly flirt in public? Can our eyes be spared for once?"  
Tommy complained.  
"You're gonna be doing the same thing when you've got a sweetie." Jam told  
Tommy matter-of-factly.   
Finally the chairs on the lift pulled up to the top of the hill leading to   
the course. Jam stepped off first, and took Nancy by the hand to help her off her   
chair. Tommy and Pamela stepped off with no assistance.  
"There," Pamela said, "is the resort and equipment station by where the Big  
Snowman slope starts. I say let's head there first before we do anything else....."  
"Good idea." Tommy agreed. "Let's go there."  
"Oh Jam, I'm so cold..." Nancy said, cuddling up to Jam. "Can you help me   
warm up?"  
Jam, noticing Nancy's obviously-overdone romantic lust, smirked. "What with?  
I don't have a blanket..."  
"I could use *you*." Nancy suggested.  
"Oh look. The two doves are at it again." Tommy said cynically. "When are  
you two ever gonna stop with the mushy crud?"  
"When you curl up and die." Pamela replied scornfully.  
"That wasn't funny!" Tommy shouted at her. "Why is everyone being so mean?"  
"You're restricting their freedom of love." Pamela said. "And freedom to love  
someone is very important."  
"Well they can have freedom of love in a remote bedroom back at the hotel  
FAR AWAY FROM ME!!!!" Tommy complained. Jam and Nancy laughed, and so did Pamela.  
Tommy snorted angrily and stomped through the thick snow up the hill towards the Big  
Snowman resort.  
  
- - -  
  
"Hello, are you four going to be competing in today's race?" The lady at the   
front counter asked the four Kids.  
"Yeah." Jam replied. "Us four."  
"Okay.......how many of you?" The lady asked.  
"Us FOUR." Jam repeated.  
"Right, um........" She paused, then talked again. "Would you be interested in  
purchasing a rental snowboard?"  
"Uh, we brought our own." Jam answered. "That's okay."  
"Okay then........how many of you have health insurance?" The lady asked.  
"All of us, why?" Tommy asked.  
"Big Snowman is a challenging slope. Some sections of the track are covered  
in sheet ice. We need to have insurance coverage on any racers that get injured."  
The lady told the four Kids.  
"Sheet ice?" Jam asked, flabbergasted. "What the heck is ice doing on the track  
in the first place?"  
"We didn't put it there, there's nearby glaciers that sort of melted partially  
onto the slope." The lady answered.  
"And you still let people RACE on that?!?" Jam asked.  
"Afraid so. Look, are you four going to register for the race or not?" The   
lady asked, getting impatient.  
"Yeah, but the idea of ice on the track makes me kinda nervy...." Jam thought   
aloud while signing the contract on the counter. After the other three signed it,  
they headed towards the exit door of the building to make their way towards the   
slope starting line.  
  
- - -   
  
Tommy, Pamela, Jam and Nancy were lined up at the start line, waiting for Mr.  
Dog as usual. After a while, Mr. Dog floated down in his hot-air balloon and looked  
at the kids. He gave Jam an amused look.  
"What's the matter?" He asked. "You look worried."  
"I heard this track has ice on it." Jam answered. "The last thing I wanna do  
is break my leg or split my lip open..."  
"Don't worry. They opened up a detour in the course that's free of ice. You  
should be able to take that route by now." Mr. Dog informed him.  
"That's good...." Jam sighed, and Nancy patted his back.  
"It's okay, Jam." Nancy told him. "I'll make sure you stay safe and sound."  
"Thanks, Nance." Jam told her. Tommy stomped his foot.  
"ARGH!!! Mr. Dog, they're doing it again!!!!" Tommy roared. "They keep making  
lovey-dovey comments and gestures and stuff and it's driving me crazy!!!"  
"I didn't even know those two liked each other." Mr. Dog said albeit cluelessly.  
"I say congratulations to those two."  
"Thank you!" Jam and Nancy told the snow hound. Tommy pulled at his hat in  
frustration as soon as he heard Mr. Dog get out his little pop gun. "Okay, get ready,  
kids!" Mr. Dog said. They all faced forward, and then after ready, he shot the gun  
and the four kids took off down the slope.  
  
  
~@ Lap One @~  
  
  
Tommy is in the lead so far. He's pretty confident that he's got this race  
down so far, until he feels himself drifting up in the air from a hit by a parachute.  
He hears Nancy giggle as she races past him, just avoiding Tommy landing smack on top   
of her. Jam speeds up and catches up with Nancy, they both smile at each other and   
Jam lets Nancy pass him up. Nancy smiles and does so, but falls for Jam's trick. He  
smacks her with a slapstick and sends her tumbling. "Some boyfriend you are!!!" Nancy  
screeches as Jam races away laughing. Pamela saw this act of injustice and pitched a   
bomb at Jam. He looked over his shoulder and saw the black ball heading towards him,  
tried to steer out of the way but it was too late. All he heard was a big boom as his  
suit and some of his skin got singed from the bomb blast. Pamela raced ahead of him  
and noticed she was riding on ice. "I thought this detour didn't have ice!!!!" She   
says furiously as she tried to keep her balance on the smooth blue ice. She actually  
keeps her balance in check as she skids off the ice onto the snow and escapes safely.  
Jam isn't so lucky. As soon as his snowboard hits the ice he skitters sideways,   
cursing and screaming, into the wall of a cliff to his left. With his long nose bent  
and slightly bleeding, he cusses under his breath and gets back on his board, eager  
to catch up to Pamela. Nancy and Tommy get across the ice with no problem. At last   
after the first long lap, the kids reach the lift. Pamela gets in first, the rest   
follow.  
  
Status:  
Pamela ~ 1st  
Jam ~ 2nd  
Nancy ~ 3rd  
Tommy ~ 4th  
  
  
~@ Lap Two/Final Lap @~  
  
  
Pamela is happy to be in the lead. However, she senses something coming and   
uses an invisible item just in case. Sure enough, a gold frying pan comes crashing  
down from above and passes right through her invisible self. She giggles with delight  
at her little vanishing act's success and speeds away to safety. Back in fourth,   
Tommy whines when he realizes his frying pan hit everyone except Pamela and himself.  
"I can't believe it..." He grumbles, and goes through another item box in hopes of   
getting a second one. Luckily enough, he does. He snickers and lets the pans shoot  
up into the sky, waiting for some unlucky Snowboard Kid to get squashed temporarily.  
This time it hits home and strikes everybody except Tommy. He laughs and races ahead  
of everybody else. They all watch with sweatdrops on their heads as Tommy races away,  
and Jam gets up first, determined to stop the chubby one. He slides through a shot   
box and gets a few ice shots. He snickers and throws one at Tommy, and surprisingly  
enough, Tommy musters up enough nimbleness to evade the shot by turning left. Jam  
blinks and Tommy laughs. Jam shoots another one, but this one misses too. Finally   
Jam gets so fed up with Tommy's mockery that he runs into an item box, gets a ghost,  
and sets it on Tommy. Tommy whines and complains as he slows down to a crawl, watching  
Jam race away with a grin on his face. It's only a few hundred meters to the finish   
line now that everyone's past the hazards such as the ice, and so far nothing seems   
to be stopping Jam. Tommy releases a ghost but it hits Pamela instead. Nancy sends  
a frying pan out but for some reason it squishes herself as well as Tommy and Pamela.  
Pamela sends a bunch of heatseeking slapsticks after Jam but he takes a sharp turn and  
all the shots collide with the wall. The three children cry out in defeat as they  
watch Jam pull farther and farther away.....  
  
"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALL!"  
  
"OH YEAH!!!! I *AM* THE TRICK MASTER!!!!" Jam gloats as soon as he comes to a  
stop. The other three kids pull across the finish line and sigh in remorse as Jam   
laughs and dances in victory. A pretty girl walks across the finish area holding a   
large trophy and a large bundle of money, and smiles at Jam.  
"Congratulations!" She says sweetly. "Here's your prizes."  
Jam looks up at the girl and blushes furiously as his eyes scan her from her  
waist, and stop at her chest, and then go up to her face. He smiles and puts his   
arm around her shoulder.  
"Thank you for the stuff, cutie." Jam hits on her. The girl blushes and smiles.  
"You're welcome..." She replies, a little embarassed. Suddenly the two look   
up and see a VERY angry Nancy heading towards them. Her face is red and she has a huge  
vein popping out of her forehead.  
"Y-Y-Y..." She says, too angry to speak.  
"What's wrong? Something stuck in your throat?" Jam asks.  
"Y..you cheat!!! First you trick me, then you hit me with a slapstick, and   
THEN you hit on another girl right in front of my face?!? That does it!!!   
Jam Kuehnemund, you are A DEAD BOY!!!!!!"   
Jam screams and takes off, dropping the trophy, the money and his snowboard as  
he takes off as far as he can go, hoping Nancy won't catch up to him and possibly   
kill him. Pamela and Tommy look at one another, and sigh in exasperation.  
  
  
  
"Well," Pamela says to Tommy, "there goes one boy that worried about being   
hurt by ice, when all he had to worry about when it came to injuries was his own   
girlfriend."  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
A police car pulls up to the parking lot of the Rookie Mountain resort.   
A cop walks out and enters the resort registration building. He walks up to the desk  
and holds up his badge as soon as the lady at the desk looks at him.  
"Officer Wills of the Canada Mountie squadron." He says, introducing himself  
and then continuing, "I'm looking for a band of eight children."  
"Are they wearing snowboarding outfits?" The lady replies.  
"Yes, based on this photo-" -he holds up the photo taken when all the kids were  
in the car- "-it seems so."  
"I think they're staying a few nights at the hotel a few towns south." The   
lady replied.  
"Thank you. That's all I needed to know." The officer puts away his badge and  
the photo, and heads out the door replying to a message over his walkie-talkie.  
  
  
  
  
"Did he mean the Snowboard Kids?" The lady wonders out loud. "Oh dear....." 


	12. Hotel Room Shenanigans and Cops On Their...

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
  
P.S. Jam and Nancy DO sleep together in this chapter but THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING  
ICKY!!!!! Nancy just needed someone to cuddle up to.....*scratches her head*  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
*back at the hotel*  
  
  
"So you ended up winning anyway after complaining about sheet ice." Tommy  
asked Jam.  
"Yep." Jam replied proudly, cradling the trophy he'd earned in his arms.  
"And I think I deserve it."  
"You -might-." Nicole said. "I think the way that race ended looked totally  
unfair to me. I mean, everyone had almost every single status effect possible   
on them!!! Squashed, frozen, ghosted...."  
"But I WON." Jam insisted, pressing his fingertip against the tip of Nicole's  
long nose. " - And that's all that matters."  
"Hmph...." Nicole muttered.  
Jam smirked and looked at his trophy again.  
"Look at THIS." He said proudly, pointing to the plaque at the bottom of the  
trophy " - Jam Kuehnemund, winner of the 5th annual race at Big Snowman, year 2002.  
Sounds professional, doesn't it?"  
"Braggart." Nicole complained.  
"Butt-wipe." Jam retorted.  
"Dork."  
"Preppy."  
"Idiot.."  
"STOP THAT!!!" Nancy said from the other end of the room, watching the fight  
and running over to split the two combatants apart. "That's enough!"  
"Sorry Nance...." Jam said to his girlfriend.  
"You'll listen to little ol' Nancy but not ME?!?" Nicole fumed.  
"WHO'S little ol'?" Nancy growled at Nicole. Nicole scooted backwards.  
"Don't call Nicole a preppy!" Ruby said, walking into the room.  
"Sorry Ruby, she was gettin' on my last nerve...." Jam apologized.  
"Well- ...eh....well just remember not to call her that anymore!" Ruby told  
Jam.  
"You got it." Jam said, standing up and placing his trophy on the coffee   
table before walking out of the room.  
Nicole's eyes looked glassy and a little teary-eyed as she looked at Ruby.  
"Why would he stand up for me like that........" She wondered. "After all   
I've said and done to him......"  
Her eyes followed Ruby as he walked out of the room, and she found herself  
standing up and walking after him. She knocked on the bedroom door, but nobody   
answered.  
"Ruby....?" She called. No answer. Her shoulders drooped and she walked   
back into the living room.  
"Where did Ruby go?" She asked Jam.  
"I don't know, I thought YOU knew." Jam answered a little angrily.  
"Great........I try to say something nice to him for once, and once I get  
the courage to do so he's gone." Nicole complained, not to anybody in particular   
but mostly to herself.   
  
She looked at the ground and sighed.  
  
  
"Ruby.........."  
  
***  
  
  
That night, all the Kids were sleeping soundly - all the guys in the guys'  
bedroom, all the girls in the girls' bedroom. But one girl couldn't sleep.  
Nancy lay in bed wide awake. She was freezing cold and wondered how the   
other girls managed to stay so warm. She sat up in bed and got an idea. She trodded  
off across the hall to the guys' bedroom, walked around the side of the massive   
bed where all the guys slept, and gently shook Jam awake. Jam's eyelids fluttered  
for a moment, then he opened his eyes.  
"Nancy....?" He asked.  
"I can't sleep." Nancy told him.  
"Well I can." Jam answered groggily, and fell back asleep. Nancy was   
growing ever more impatient with her beau and finally decided to wake him up for good.  
She slammed her fist on a certain unmentionable part of Jam's anatomy and sent Jam  
sitting upright immediately.  
"OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!" Both his hands immediately grasped his crotch. "WHAT WAS  
THAT FOR?!?!?"  
"Will you SHUT UP?" An angry Tommy said from the other end of the bed.  
"Grrrrrrr......" Jam flinched and winced at the pain. "All right Nancy,   
what is it? You can't sleep? Okay, I know what I can do..." He swung his feet over  
the edge of the bed and followed Nancy into the girls' bedroom. He lifted up a corner  
of the blankets on the bed and gestured for Nancy to slip in. Once she did, he got   
in after her.  
"Jam, I don't think you-" Nancy began.  
"It's okay." Jam cut her off. "I know why you can't fall asleep. You're cold,  
right?"  
"....Yeah." Nancy told him.  
"I can warm you up." Jam told her. He put his arms around her and held her  
close to him in a tight but not choking hug. Nancy smiled and hummed a little as Jam's  
body heat gradually warmed her up. In seconds, she was asleep, and Jam was too.  
  
  
  
  
"*yawn*......Wow, what a great sleep..." Nancy said aloud as she woke up. She  
looked behind her, but there was no sign of Jam.  
"That's funny........" She said, and noticed a note on the nightstand next  
to the bed. She picked it up and read it:  
  
  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
-Dear Nancy, -  
- -  
-I'm at the Sunset Rock Lodge with Tommy, Slash and Ruby. We were picked -  
-to race there for this race (all of us guys). Be back in about 3 hours. -  
- -  
- ~ Jam -  
- -  
-P.S. Hope you slept well :) -  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
  
  
  
"Aww, that was awfully nice of him to at least let me know where he's going."  
Nancy said to herself. "I'm glad I have such a wonderful boy for a boyfriend."  
  
  
***  
  
  
"Well, here we are." The officer said as he parked his car in the parking lot  
to the resort that the Kids were staying at. "Our search is over."  
"Thank goodness for that!" Another officer said over the walkie-talkie.  
"I was sick of driving miles and miles looking for just a bunch of runaway kids..."  
"Well, you won't have to worry about that anymore." The commanding officer  
told his comrade. "We've arrived at our destination."  
  
  
"C'mon men, let's bring those kids back home." 


	13. Why You Shouldn't Cross Paths With Pigs ...

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
  
The front door swung open and Ruby walked in. "I'm home!" He called out,  
and sat down on the sofa just as the phone rang. He picked it up.  
"Hello?" He asks.  
"Hi, um, this is Joe again," Joe answered. "I have some bad news. The police  
are here in the lobby and they demand the permission to take you guys back to Alberta."  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Ruby cried out. "Joe, I thought you said you'd keep us   
here until Silver Mountain!"   
"I did, but they've already got a warrant for anyone attempting to cover you  
guys. So I can't help anymore..." Joe said sadly.  
"...N-no......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Ruby yelled again and took off for the bed-  
room, dropping the phone right off the hook. The other Kids walked into the room where  
Ruby once was.  
"Ruby, what's wrong?" Jam picked up the phone and heard Joe's voice still  
speaking.  
".......try to pack up......." His voice faded, the line nearly fizzling out.  
".....ready to ca-.........bus south........Sunset Rock 50-some mile-........"  
The line went dead.  
"Sunset Rock!!!!" Jam yelled. "We've got to take the bus south to Sunset Rock  
before the cops catch us!"  
"We gotta hurry! Everyone grab your belongings, stuff 'em in a suitcase and  
get ready to blast outta here!" Nicole commanded the other Kids.  
Everyone immediately scuttled to the storage closet and dragged out every   
baggage compartment and suitcase they could find. They stuffed everything in them in  
a matter of minutes and as soon as they were ready, they stopped.  
"Now where do we GO?" Slash asked, nervous.  
"Oh man....." Pamela sighed. "Maybe there isn't any other way out...."  
Suddenly, Ruby ran out from the bedroom, carrying a bedsheet off the bed that  
flailed around in the air behind him. The sheet was tied in the form of a long rope  
with several knots in the middle all the way from the beginning to the end.  
"Don't worry, I have the rope all ready!!!" Ruby announced proudly, and tied   
one end of the knotted sheet-rope to one of the kitchen table legs, and threw the rest  
out of the window until it reached the ground. He began to climb down it, until he   
stopped and climbed back up the rope. He ran over to Nicole, grabbed her, and began  
carrying her down the rope with him.  
"Ruby what are you DOING?!?" Nicole screeched.  
"I have to save all the fair maidens!!" Ruby ranted as he climbed down the   
sheet-rope.   
"But why-" Nicole started, but she was cut off as Ruby suddenly clasped a hand  
to her cheek and gave her a great big smooch smack on the mouth.  
"To the bottom we go!" Ruby said in a superhero-like manner, letting the rope  
slide in his hands as he leveled himself and Nicole down to the ground as quickly as   
possible without a danger of falling off.  
Nicole gazed at Ruby for a minute or two before throwing her arms around him  
and kissing him back on the cheek. "Thank you!" She said. "Thank you so, so much!"  
"What are we waiting for?" Slash told the others. "Ganbatte!!!"  
"HUH?" Everyone asked.  
Slash smacked himself on the forehead once he realized he was slipping into  
Japanese again. "Um, Go!!!"  
One by one, the Kids slipped down the sheet-rope, carrying their belongings  
with them as they descended out the open window down the makeshift rope.   
  
Back in the room the Kids once occupied, Nancy -the last person down the rope-  
had just lowered herself out the window before the police barged into the room.   
"FREEZE WHEREVER YOU ARE!!!" The commanding officer ordered. "DON'T MOVE!"  
"I just heard the cops up there!" Nancy called down to the Kids on the rope   
below her. "We gotta get movin'!"  
"Loud and clear!" Jam replied to his sweetheart, and looked down at the others,  
some of which were already standing on solid ground, toting their belongings with them.  
"Guys, we gotta hurry! You guys make sure that bus doesn't go anywhere fast while   
we're still getting outta here!"  
"Got it!" Pamela called back, and ran off towards the bus stop not too far  
away. The others followed once they were off the rope. Nancy stepped down onto the  
ground and took off after the other seven Kids. They got on board the bus and picked  
seats quickly. Sure enough, the bus was just beginning to start on it's journey to  
Sunset Rock.  
"Yes!!!" All the Kids said at the same time. "We got away!!!"  
Everyone else on the bus looked at them funny.  
"Uh, from a bully chasing us..." Nancy said. Everyone else sighed and faced  
forward.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"Where did you hide those kids?" One of the officers asked Joe, who was in   
cuffs being questioned in the hotel lobby.  
"I don't know, honestly..." Joe replied. "All I know is they're not here any-  
more. They must have escaped somehow." *Thank goodness...* he thought.  
"You're not getting away easy until we find out where those kids ran off to."  
The officer scolded Joe. "And you've got a warrant for covering the location of eight  
fugitives on the run."  
Joe sighed and looked at the ground.  
  
*I hope they're all right.....* He thought.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
Slash looked out the window at the signs zooming by. One said, "Sunset Rock  
Recreational Area: 37 miles"  
"Aw, man." Slash mumbled. "If we're going at 60 miles an hour now, it's gonna  
take us about 40 more minutes to get there."  
"And I don't like getting stuck with all this luggage, either." Nancy pouted.  
"None of us do." Nicole said. "But at least we got it all."  
"Why did I have to be stuck with the suitcase carrying all the girls' stuff  
that Slash was digging into before we first left?" Tommy grumbled.   
"First of all, why did you GRAB it?" Jam asked, laughing.  
"Shut up, Jam." Tommy grumbled. Jam crossed his arms and looked out the  
window.  
"Everyone is getting so mean." Pamela sighed. "Can't we all calm down?"  
"Yeah, really." Ruby answered. "Be nice, guys."  
"Hm! Let's think for a minute." Tommy said angrily. "Maybe if a certain   
black-haired boy hadn't turned us into fugitives from the law, and drove us halfway  
across the billion-mile-wide country we live in, perhaps maybe THEN everyone would be  
a little bit more light-hearted, don't you think?!?"  
Slash started looking real guilty. Linda leaned over and patted his shoulder.  
"And YOU'RE supporting him!!!" Tommy yelled to the others.   
"Hey you!" Said an old guy with a cane standing in the back of the bus. "Yeah,  
you! The fat boy in green! Will ya just shut your trap for one stinkin' minute?!?  
You're making everyone on this whole damn bus hostile!!!"  
Tommy faced the window silently.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Slash was nearly falling asleep when Linda shook him awake.   
"Slash, look!" She said, and turned his head to look out the window. The bus  
zoomed by a sign that read, "Sunset Rock Recreational Area: Next Exit"  
"We're almost there!" Linda cheered. Slash said something inaudible and   
dropped off to sleep again.  
"Slash! We gotta stay awake if we're gonna get off this bus!"  
Linda scolded him. "The rest of us are already ready to step off the bus when it   
stops."  
"I don't wanna..." Slash said. "Haven't I caused us enough trouble...?"  
"We don't care! We've made it this far! Let's keep going!" Linda encouraged  
him.  
Slash grumbled and stood up as soon as the bus came to a complete stop.  
Linda smiled and followed Slash out of the door. Everyone else followed suit. 


	14. How To Make All The People In a Hotel La...

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A/N: Ruby gets accidentally drunk in this chapter but it has nothing to do with   
incidental drug use. As KittyCat said, I think alcohol should be outlawed.  
  
ANOTHER Note: I don't own Touchstone Pictures' "What About Bob", even though that  
is a hilarious movie and I wish I did have the genius to have come up with it.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
"What's it say?" Tommy asked, trying to see through the brim of his hat.  
"Are you BLIND?!?" Slash said. "It says, Sunset Rock recreational area."  
"Oh SORRY. I had no idea all our vision was supposed to be as good as  
yours......" Tommy muttered.  
"Why are you two so snippy?" Nancy asked. "We're here to have a good time.   
Let's make the most of it."  
"A GOOD TIME?!?" Nicole screeched. "You call running from the cops a good time?!?"  
"Make that you THREE." Nancy corrected herself.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Inside the building, the Kids hadn't even walked through three rooms before  
they came upon a big buffet table. Of course, Tommy ran forward.  
"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!" He yelled, grabbing a plate and knocking over/breaking  
several others in the process. He turned around quickly and looked at Nancy.  
"Food!" He said again.  
"It sure is, Tommy." Nancy said.  
"FOOD!" Tommy said again, louder.  
Nancy shook her head. "Can't get over it, can ya?"  
Ruby walked over to the table where they were serving drinks. He picked up  
a plastic cup and filled it up in a bowl full of punch. He walked over to the other  
Kids and began listening in on them.  
"I still can't believe we're doing this." Linda sighed. "It seems like just  
yesterday I was sitting in my bedroom talking on the phone with Nancy."  
"It feels like I've been in my house listening to music and here the next."  
Jam complained.  
Ruby took a long drink from his glass. He got a puzzled look on his face,   
licked his lips once or twice, then shook his head.  
"Where are the drinks, Rube?" Jam asked.  
"Over there." Ruby said, pointing to the table.  
"I know this sounds crazy, but I'm having fun." Pamela said. "It's been  
quite an adventure for me. I don't get to get out of the house too often nowadays,  
and I think this is a lot of fun."  
"Yeah, if you like being chased by badge-sporting pigs..." Jam laughed as he  
walked back to the group.  
"He he he he..." Ruby laughed.  
"What is it?" Nicole asked him.  
"Ha ha ha ha..!" Ruby kept going.  
"What's so funny?" Nancy asked.  
"Lookit MEEEEE!!!" Ruby said happily. "I am SUPERMAN!!!"  
People sitting at nearby tables began looking at Ruby strangely.  
"Uh, that's nice." Nancy said. "Anyway......"  
Suddenly Ruby's eyes got all wide. He ran over to an old man by the buffet  
table and began screaming at him.  
"IT'S BABY'S PIZZAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Ruby wailed, then fell to the floor on his   
arse and began fake sobbing.  
By now everyone in the whole building was looking at Ruby and the Kids.  
"SHUT UP!!!" Linda sassed.  
"Ruby, what's wrong?" Nancy asked, concerned as usual.  
A waiter walked up to the Kids. "May I ask what's going on?"  
"Uh, he's here for the Special Olympics...." Slash said, jerking a thumb  
in Ruby's direction.  
"May I ask you to please take him somewhere else?" The waiter asked. The  
sentence was sort of clipped by Ruby screaming 'I wanna give you a hug' to some lady  
he didn't even know.  
Linda picked up the glass that Ruby dropped and sniffed it. It smelled like  
alcohol.  
"Guys, I think Ruby's buzzed...." She muttered.  
"WHAT?!?" The Kids said in unison.  
"GIMME CRACKED CORN AND I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!" Ruby screeched in the   
background.  
The waiter was still standing there, waiting for the Kids to make a decision  
and drag Ruby out of the building.  
"We gotta get him out of here before he starts barfing." Tommy said.  
"Right. But where are we gonna take him? We still need to sign up for a   
room to rent..." Pamela explained.  
"I AM THE WALRUS, KOO KOO KACHOO!!!!!" Ruby bawled in song.  
"We gotta do something...." Nancy said, covering her ears.  
By now every single person in the room (and some of the rooms adjoining it)  
were laughing their heads off.  
"We gotta get him out of here!" Tommy insisted.  
"I know, I know!!!" Pamela replied. "Just calm down the staff and I'll make  
sure he gets out of here with minimum fuss...."   
"SOMEONE'S IN THE KITCHEN WITH DINAH...." Ruby began singing.  
"We're dead." Slash said.  
"Not yet." Pamela said, and gestured for Slash and Jam to drag Ruby out of  
the dining room. She walked up to the manager, who was walking out of the men's   
room.  
"Pardon the calamity, but it's all being taken care of right now...." She  
said.  
"I sure hope it is," the manager said. "It sounds like the funny farm in here!"  
By now the whole building's population of visitors was gathered around the   
dining room and laughing so hard that some of them were gasping for air. Amongst  
the laughing, Ruby added to the ruckus by randomly screaming parts from ballads  
and songs in an obviously drunken fashion.  
"C'mon Ruby..." Slash said while him and Jam attempted to pick up the   
musclebound juvenile. "We're gonna get you out of here-"  
"SPEC MY A-HO!!!!" Ruby screamed at Slash. Slash got blasted in the face  
by a breeze of punch breath.  
"Whatever that means, same to you. Now let's get you out of here-" Slash   
mumbled.  
"SAIL AWAY!!! SAIL AWAY!!! SAIL AWAY!!!" Ruby started chanting.  
By now the entire building was in hysterics. The visitors were laughing,   
the staff was laughing, even the crabby waiter and manager were laughing. Some of  
the Kids couldn't help laughing either.  
"DOC LEO MARVIN'S A GEEEEEENIUS, YOUR DEATH THERAPY CURED ME, YOU GEEEEEEE-  
NIUS...." Ruby hollered amongst the laughing Kids and all the laughing people in   
the building.  
  
  
The Kids all walked out of the building with Ruby on their nerves and sweat-  
drops on their heads.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"THAT was a waste of time..." Jam grumbled as he sat on the couch, trying  
not to hear the noises of poor Ruby puking his guts out in the bathroom.  
"I feel sorry for him." Nancy said. "He IS a little scatterbrained, and that  
punch probably looked like cherry Kool-Aid to him...."  
"I just think he's a dope." Linda said.   
Nicole smacked Linda across the face.  
"He's my boyfriend now, and I don't care whether you think he's stupid or  
not, he's MY guy and I won't take any of your criticism." Nicole said to Linda.  
"YOUR guy embarassed us in front of the entire resort building!!!" Linda  
snapped back. "There's no trying to hide it! He's a dope!"  
Linda and Nicole were immediately entangled in a catfight. It took all   
the other Kids -excluding Ruby- to pull them apart.  
"You'll see, one of these days he's going to be just as smart as any of us!"  
Nicole yelled at Linda, who was being dragged away from the other Kids by Slash.  
  
"I just wish I thought so..." Ruby thought as he lay curled up on the bath-  
room floor. 


	15. The Decision To Discontinue

Snobow Kids Plus: The Epic Adventure  
Rated: PG for some crude humor  
Notes: I'm just gonna skip the "I don't own Snobow Kids Plus" line because you all   
already know I don't (and it's OBVIOUS) so bear with me.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
They had been in bed since 7:00 p.m. None of them were quite as enthusi-  
astic about the big competition anymore. People were getting hurt, drunk, tired,  
and who knows what else. Every single one of them was lying in bed, thinking about  
what to do now.   
"Why did I do this to everyone....?" Slash thought. "All for a stupid   
snowboarding competition...."  
"Is this really what we wanted?" Nancy thought. "Was this such an opportunity  
that we had to steal a car and drive three provinces away in order to achieve it?"  
"Why did I come along...?" Jam thought. "Money? Fame? Fortune?"  
"This is stupid...." Linda thought. "I have enough money.....I don't need  
any more...!"  
"I'm hungry...I'm tired...I miss my parents...." Tommy thought. "Some trip  
this turned out to be."  
"This was my biggest mistake I think I ever made...." Nicole thought. "But  
now that I found love in Ruby, I might be thankful for it...."  
"This has been quite a half-a-month..." Pamela thought. "But I think it's   
about time that this masquerade ended."  
"I dowanna be Superman anymore...." Ruby thought. "I've done enough flying  
around....."  
All at the same time, the Kids sat up in bed, looked at one another, and   
nodded. They got up out of bed, took out their suitcases, and began packing.  
Within hours, none of their belongings was in sight. And when the sound of  
police sirens and sight of red and blue flashing lights was seen, the Kids didn't   
even budge.  
  
***  
  
  
"Come out with your hands up." The voice through the loudspeaker sounded.  
"Drop any possesions you have on you. If they are not weapons, they will be given   
back to you. Do not attempt anything rash."  
One by one, in their pajamas, carrying their luggage, the Snowboard Kids   
walked out, barefoot through the snow, turned to face the police cars and put their   
hands in the air. The officers ran out of their cars, handcuffed the Kids, and put  
them in the squad cars, two to a car.   
In the squad car that Jam and Nancy were in, the officer looked over his   
shoulder at them in the back seat.  
"It's going to be a long drive back to Alberta from here." The officer said.  
"About one and a half days. Since you guys are kids, I think I'll ask the other cops  
to take it easy on you guys. But boy, you guys sure are tricky! I didn't even   
think kids your age could get this far in half a month."  
  
***  
  
The drive certainly was long. It took TWO days to get from Ontario to  
Alberta, including pit stops. But they eventually made it.  
The procession finally came to a halt in front of Snow Town city hall, where  
half the town's population and the Kids' parents were waiting. Two by two, the Kids  
were un-cuffed and walked out of the squad cars. Their parents cried out and rushed  
forward to hold, hug and kiss their Kids, crying their hearts out from worry.  
"I-I'm so sorry...!" Ruby bawled as his parents held him. Mr. Green looked  
at Ruby and smiled.  
"Don't be. What you did was definitely wrong, but in any case, I'm just glad  
you're safe!"   
Some of the Kids themselves were crying. They knew that they would never try  
a stunt like that again, no matter how appealing a snowboarding competition looked.  
  
***  
  
Slash sat in front of the TV, listening to his mom working in the kitchen.   
The Kids were no longer permitted to live on their own in Snobow Mansion anymore.   
They were now living with their parents in their original homes.  
As he channel surfed, he came across the news channel. It showed footage of  
his and the other Kids' arrest, and the bulletin at the bottom read:  
  
CHILDREN MISSING FOR HALF A MONTH FOUND THREE PROVINCES AWAY IN SUNSET ROCK  
RECREATIONAL AREA, ONTARIO - POLICE DISCOVERED THE EIGHT TAKING REFUGE IN A HOTEL   
NOT FAR FROM THE PARK  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Slash smiled.  
  
But that was all he could bring himself to do.  
  
  
  
  
~@ The End @~ 


End file.
